Thursday, 13 June 2013

Conversation with myself. Episode #1: Picking clothes.

"A brand new day ahead. No special occasions. What to wear, what to wear? Gosh I have too many clothes."

"Are you fucking kidding me? You have no clothes at all. NOTHING! NADA!"

"Well, sub-conscious Ingrid, I do see a lot of clothes in front of me. Surely there is something to wear."

"These clothes are all ancient relics. You can not be seen wearing this shit. What the fuck were you thinking when you bought THAT?"

"It was very much in fashion back then."

"No. Just no. I can't imagine that shirt was ever acceptable in the history of humanity."

"Shut up! Help me instead! I want to wear something different today. I feel like I should wear something sexy."

"Well, considering the choice you have, you either go as plain Jane or as an escort lady."

"I do hope a high-class escort lady."

"No. Just one who gets hired to lame-ass bachelor parties."

"They usually hire strippers for that."

"You might as well go naked instead of wearing those clothes. I don't see the problem."

"Stop being such a bitch."

"You are a bitch, bitch!"

"I guess I'll just wear jeans and a shirt again. Is it cold outside?"

"Way to go. Just be fucking ordinary. AGAIN. The weather is nice though."

"Yeah the sun is shining. Weather has been shit for a long time. So glad it's warmer now."

"Tell me about it. I thought we were stuck in Ice Age 36."

"Ha! You are so funny. I'm probably the only one who thinks so, but whatever."

"Thanks babe. I like you to. Okay, let's make a deal. You wear a regular outfit today and when you get back, we'll go shopping on Asos! Buy some vavavoom kinda clothes."

"I have no money though."


"True! We have a deal!"

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