Monday, 31 December 2012

Happy New Year!

As the new best new Year's resolution is to not have any resolutions, I will leave you with this post!

Let's Boogie our way into 2013!

Or if you are lonely and sad tonight:
Let's make New Year's resolutions we won't keep anyway! Like going to the gym.
Or understanding your family and friends better

It's going to be a fucking great year, let's make the most of it!

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Bring on 2013!

Christmas is (almost) over. I still have presents to unwrap and one massive dinner as we Dutch people like to add an extra Christmas day, but apart from that we're done with that shizzle. We've survived the invisible apocalypse. Every Home Alone film has been on tv as well as all 456 parts of Beethoven and Harry Potter. We're all fat now and probably still hungover. As for me, I am in bed with a sore throat and fever, but it's been a good Christmas.

2013 is lurking around the corner now and I'm convinced it will be a good year as well. All of you pessimists and your financial crisises and shit can just go off and be negative in a corner because this year we'll be all about rainbows and positivity bitches because that's how I roll!

2012 has been a great year. There have been highs and lows as is always the case, but over all I can say I've had a fucking good time. I mean, I've been to a fucking film premiere just to name one thing. I've been to many places, I've seen many new things and I've experienced things I never thought I would. It's the year in which I became an adult (legally anyway. Not sure mentally) and I feel like I've grown a lot. Not literally. I'm still fun-sized, but you know what I mean. Even though I'm still in this "Omg-I'm-21-my-life-is-almost-over-what-am-I-going-to-do-with-myself?" phase, I also know that there are things I definitely want to get done in 2013 and even though I won't elaborate on them right now, I'm positive they will happen.

Thank you to all my old friends for making 2012 amazing and for my new friends who've come and enriched my life. And thank you to all you whores out there who've tried to make life a little harder at times. I enjoy snapping my fingers at your patheticness. And if patheticness is not a word, it is now. Because I'm cool like that.
Thank you also to Mika. I know, everyone who reads this will roll their eyes and be like: "Bitch, stop talking about him. Why are you still like so obsessed with him. Like stahp." I don't give a shit though. It's up to them to judge while I just go out and see the world and listen to amazing music. Thank you for the amazing opportunities and your kindness and of course the music. Hopefully 2013 will be even better!

As we're getting all sentimental here now, I might as well just talk about some special people in my life who have made it all worthwhile.
My dear classmates who make life at college bearable and who are great partners in bitching about everything and just are generally amazing.

My Dutch lovergirl Renate, because she's been by my side ever since we were 12 year old kids who knew nothing about the world. We don't get to see each other as often as we should, but real friendship lasts despire that inconvenience.

Luke, Laura and Niko: For accompanying me on so many journeys, for being just as crazy as I am. Thank you all for the amazing moments we've shared the past year. From partying all night and then rushing to the airport to catch a plane, to spending 12 hours packing bags overnight in our very own sweat shop, to proposing to me while I'm on stage and therefore turning it all in one big comedy show. Thank you. Thank you for being there even though there is so much distance between us. Thank you for supporting me in the good times and the bad and hopefully you will feel like I've been there for you as well when you needed it. On to many more adventures next year!

Babet: I'm happy we got to spend time this year especially now you're in faraway SouthHampton. You're my favourite glitterbitch!

Also thank you to Lauren, Kate and Flori from KPF. After all those years, we're still a good team, managing that shit! Especially to Flori, my European fellow Hot Mama. We don't see each other as much as we should!

Thank you to my family for putting up with me and for showing me the craziness is in our DNA.

Thank you to all the amazing people I've met this year or have seen again. I know I will forget people, but just know that you're in my mind: Robin, Anneleen, Maxim, Emiel, Marjolein, Vicky and family, Rose, Yulia, my co-workers, Kath, Shawn, Fran, Miri, the lovely people from the Amsterdam Polkadot choir, especially Susanna and Judith, my Spanish lover Ana and Diana, my German kittens and basically everyone else I've forgotten. Thank you.

I know this is already a fucking long ass post but I'm just going to make it longer by adding these sentimental pictures and videos.

Fucking up on stage but doing it well

  With my cousins. We've grown!

                                          At the Katy Perry Part of Me premiere in London

                                            At the Harry Potter studios.


Thank you all for making 2012 amazing!


Saturday, 22 December 2012

Since the world did not end...

If you're wondering where I've been the past days, I was in the sewer with Britney and a bunch of half-naked individuals dancing until the world would end. Which did not happen. Obviously. All those days of watching Doomsday Preppers on Discovery Channel were in vain. I was expecting zombies and aliens and unicorns to commence a big war whilst flames of hell embraced us and burned us to the ground. I was expecting Jesus to appear and be like: "Dudes, told ya I was coming back. Here's your last supper, bitches!" And then he would totally throw soja beans at random people because I imagine Jesus to be a vegetarian bad-ass.

All of that did not happen. The only thing I've learned from this is how to make Chicken Piri Piri and keep it edible for 20 years. I know how to design kick-ass costumes that will make me disappear in every landscape. Which would be brilliant, if only landscapes would stay the same. I imagine if I changed my super awesome costume, the aliens would come and find me anyway and I'd be dead. Unless I'm in a snowy landscape, then I'm fine as I'm pretty fucking pale. But then I'd probably freeze to death.

Let's face it, the Mayans were probably some lazy ass bastards. Like me, they probably start these projects and then halfway they thought "Fuck, this shit takes too much time. You know what we should do instead? Sacrifice a virgin! YAY!" I don't sacrifice virgins though. Too bloody. I just give up and do something else.
Anyways, the Mayans were lazy or just liked a good practical joke. I bet they're up their in Maya Heaven laughing their asses off at us morons. We made such a big deal out of this shit and some even believed it was going to happen. I can assure you Britney was very disappointed after grinding hot men in the sewer all day for nothing!

So, we're still here and as I suck at sending Christmas cards, this one is for all of you. Because I love you so much.

Merry Christmas bitches!

Monday, 17 December 2012

Dream Eaters

When darkness falls and night embraces us
We seek refuge in the comfort of our beds.
Hidden underneath the sheets we're safe for the passing of time
While we quietly listen to hear the lonesome bell chime.

When darkness falls the night creatures crawl from the shadows
Glaring at us hopefully, creeping closer when we're falling away
Until we sleep so peacefully.

Merry dreams of joyful moments vanish as the creatures touch your skin.
Gone are thoughts of eternal love as it's your dreams they're eating.

Hope escapes through our fingertips
We had it all and now it's gone
Until our head is filled with blackness
Which we wake up with and just carry on.

If we open our eyes things might get better
If we fix our hate instead of letting it all fall apart
If instead of letting fear be our guidance
We follow the footsteps of a young child's heart.

Thursday, 6 December 2012

Never let go

I hear your heart beat from a distance
And I know I'm on your mind
There is no need for resistance
'Cause you're the one I'll find

At the end of the road where we'll meet
When everything's been said and done
Touch me and make me complete
Like the light of a rising sun

Let your tears create a river
That will flow to the sea
When the longing makes you shiver
It will bring you back to me

I'm thinking of you, lover
And my heart aches to hear your voice
There are so many ways to discover
That letting go is not a choice.

Sunday, 2 December 2012

Sunday, 25 November 2012


You know that moment you watch the news and hear about something horrible that happened? And you think, well if I was there, I would have done things differently. I would have just given him the money or I would have just ran away. I was like that. I was like that until I was put into a threatening situation. All the things I ever said I would do did not happen.

While I was at work, near closing time, a man who stole money from the top floor and was on the run, stabbed a co-worker who tried to stop him. I walked around the corner the moment all panic broke out. People started running away, screaming. I could hear someone cry hysterically. I tried to find out what happened and little by little a story came together. The victim was sat down near my workplace, holding his side. The police came shortly after. It was one big mess.
There was one thing that surprised me. I'm a person who panicks easily. I have had some panic attacks in the past. I didn't panic now. I was in a truly dangerous situation and my mind just went blank. There were no thoughts of running away, no thoughts of panicking. I knew I couldn't. I just had to fight. I had to help. There was a rush of adrenalin running through my veins. I helped a few customers with a fake smile on my face. I tried to act normal. People kept trying to see what was going on, as if it was some sort of circus act. We did what we could. Tried to block the view, keep things normal and assist the police where we could. The ambulance came, the victim was taken away and it wasn't until I saw him on the stretcher, with a heart monitor and all that shit, that I realised how serious it really was. He had been so brave sitting there, waiting until the ambulance came.

The police marked the chocolate department as the crime scene. The doors were closed, the lights dimmed and I suddenly started shaking. It all seemed to be a bad film. Unreal.

Police offered us victim support but I refused. I didn't see it happen so I didn't feel like I needed it. The next day when I arrived at work I was taken upstairs along with the other people present the night before. They insisted on victim support and I'm glad it happened. We all got to tell our side of the story and how we experienced it. It bonded us. At first we were all people working on different floors with barely any interaction at all. Now, we were all in the same boat. It helped to talk and it helped to know that the fear will go away. It's a natural response of the body. I'm now still wary in the dark, suspicious of strangers. I hope that that will become less overtime.

You don't really realise how fragile life is until you see someone you know fight for his. It can all be over in a split second. It made me value life more. It really made me realise to enjoy the little things. We live in a fucked up world. Nobody is safe. We shouldn't let fear take over. Because even though it's fragile, life is too precious to just let go without a fight.

Sunday, 18 November 2012


Darling, if you must shatter
Fall apart into my arms
So I can hold and keep the pieces
Of your fragile broken heart

Lover, if you must leave me
Leave me when I'm asleep
So I wake up knowing nothing
Then the knife won't cut as deep

Baby, we've been fools before
But never as clueless as this
So glance at me one last time
And say goodbye with just a kiss

Tomorrow will be better
Tomorrow things will change
But today we're broken
Today we're only strangers

(c) 2012

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Dear Future Me,

How are you, you sexy bitch?  It's been a while huh? Remember me, the 21-year old version of you? I bet you do. I guess gravity is no longer your friend. By now your boobs are hanging somewhere down your knees and your face will look like a warzone. No, I bet all those creams you've been smearing all over your face for the past few years haven't had the effect they promised. I suggest you sue the companies who made them. Bastards.

I hope that you've made your dreams come true. I know you've had a lot of them when you were my age. Hopes and dreams of better tomorrows. A chance to escape the past and become someone. Change the world. Or at least change someone's life for the better. I hope that by now you live in a nice house with a sexy guy who looks like a younger Gerard Butler. I hope you have that dog you named Barney Banana, which is perfectly raised and trained because your surprise touches put Cesar Millan to shame. You're the dog whisperer baby! But most of all, I hope you're happy.
I know the road's been tough. Believe me, I've been through it all with you right from the beginning. And I know the wounds won't heal that easily. They hurt like real bitches. But just remember that even when the road is pitch-black and you feel like you're in some sort of horror film and your friends thought it a good idea to split up, know that there is a chance you won't get hit by an axe in the head. Unless you're Paris Hilton. Oh wait, you probably won't know who that is anymore. Forget about it!

You've made mistakes. That's alright. You loved and let go. As you do. Just remember that the tears you've shed in the past and made you look like a panda, they will dry too! You'll be happy. Just give those overly-excited thoughts in your head some rest. Relax, chill out. Don't panic! Do not have panic attacks in irrelevant situations. You might accidentally step on a puppy. That is socially unacceptable. Just release the inner Bob Marley in you. Because guess what, it all turned out to be quite alright, didn't it?

How bad can it really be? I mean, unless you're a serial killer with her own line of action figures, I don't see anything you have to worry about. Just smile. And yeah, it's fine if you feel like shit once in a while. Everyone does. Just drop that mask, grab some ice cream and let it all out. You're heart will get broken more than once. Stamped on and crushed into a million pieces. Don't worry, nothing good glue can't fix. You just have to believe in yourself. Stop trying to be perfect at everything you do. You're not, and you won't ever be perfect, bitch! Just enjoy the now, live in the moment and never stop believing. Yes, I know about the horrible things people have said in the past. Don't worry, they live under a bridge now. Or they are married to a horrible spouse. Or they're in jail. Or all three combined. Shit happens.

What I'm trying to say is, choose your own happiness. Don't give a shit about what others might say. Do what makes you happy. Think about all the awesome people you've met along the way, the cool things you've done and how happy you felt doing exactly what you love. When you were me, you had potential. You were a star but the world just didn't see you shine yet. When you read this again, I better fucking hope you've accomplished something. I hope you let yourself shine for a change. Because only you can make the change. Nobody else can. This is getting all shades of melo-dramatic again and I think I should stop now.

See you in another 10 years!




Note: I wrote this because I'm currently going through some shit and I always find writing helps me deal with it. I have many dreams and wishes I hope I will accomplish in the future. This is my way of reminding myself to change. To become a better person. To be proud of myself. This is in no way an attempt to be vain or whatever. Why am I even writing a footnote? Oh look! A giraffe!

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Thank you America.

We live in a world where we are defined by our differences. We look, not at what is the same, but at what makes us feel superior over others. Children are raised by their parents to hate certain people or groups, people hold on to what they think is right and even kill to prove others are wrong. We're blind. Blinded by our own beliefs. We believe we all own the truth but the truth is nothing but our imagination.

It shouldn't matter that we are all different. It shouldn't matter that we have different skin colours, or that we believe in different Gods or in no God at all. We all live under the same sun. If we all open our eyes and face the same direction, we can walk towards a better tomorrow. We will all be able to chose who we love and follow our dreams. If we imagine a world where we won't be consumed by hatred, but where we can all stand side by side, we can change things. We can change the world if we all stand together.

We will all face heartbreak at some point. We will all go through tough moments which make us feel like all hope is lost. But we can make it through because in the end, we will only become stronger.

Thank you America for choosing freedom. For allowing people to love the person who owns their heart, regardless of gender. For allowing people to be able to live their life without the need to be rich. Thank you for choosing change.

As Obama said:

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Let's make things better. 

Monday, 5 November 2012

Inspiring shit: Let's pretend this never happened

You know, I am not a normal person. At least that's what most people say. Opinions are always different and range from "Omg, you're awesome" to "Bitch, please disappear." That's fine. You can't win them all. Or can you? In any case, people always agree on the fact that I am not normal. But being normal is boring anyway and should be forbidden by law.

Being weird has led me to enjoy people who are equally strange. And that is why I always enjoyed reading the Bloggess. I mean the blog of course. If you haven't checked it out yet, do so!

In April this year, The Bloggess, or Jenny Lawson as she's really called, published a book called "Let's pretend this never happened". I wanted to read it back then, but in ma country, it wasn't released yet and so I had to wait centuries until I got it for my birthday. I immediately started reading it and I have never laughed this much about a book in my life. She's honest, funny and shows that there is nothing wrong with being weird or strange. It has actually taught me a lot about myself and about others. We all have our flaws. We all make mistakes. But instead of judging others by these faults, we should embrace them and celebrate our differences.

2 quotes that really struck me:

“You should just accept who you are, flaws and all, because if you try to be someone you aren't, then eventually some turkey is going to shit all over your well-crafted facade, so you might as well save yourself the effort and enjoy your zombie books.” 

“I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me "weird" and "different," were actually the most important parts of my life. They were the parts that made me ME.”  

I have started to feel more comfortable about myself in the past few months. This book was even more of an eye-opener. It made me want to go out into the world and celebrate my weirdness. It made me proud of who I was, even though I am everything but perfect. And I have accepted the fact that not everyone can and will like you, and that they will talk badly about you. But that's no longer my problem. I'm proud of who I am and everyone should be. This book has given me the desire to be free again. I feel like running outside and throwing glitter at random people. I bet bitches would love that.

In conclusion, if you're strange and you feel like you're alone, read this book. You know what, just read this book anyway. It will make you laugh and it will make you feel better. And don't forget to check out  Weirdoes unite!

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Rocking the shit out of Paradiso

So you know, yesterday I sang on stage with Mika. No biggie, right? I was lucky enough to be chosen as part of the Polka Dot Choir. Which meant I got to sing in Paradiso. In front of about 1500 people. How awesome is that? Totally awesome!

Getting inside

I was already in Amsterdam which was quite convenient. I slept in a hostel (well I barely slept anyway because I shared my bunk bed with a total bitch) and woke up quite early in the morning. I decided to already put lots of make up on, which apparently was considered to be very strange by all the backpacking people. I then went down to get breakfast, couldn't eat without wanting to throw up, attempted to paint my nails but failed miserably, before I was kicked out and left on the street with no money and no shelter. I'm just kidding. I had money.
I spent the following hours wandering around Amsterdam, walking in and out of shops until I decided to see some friends who were queueing. We went for lunch and before I knew it, it was about time to go in. I met some choir members in front of the venue already, and we immediately hit it off. Not sexually, you pervert. We are decent girls.
Anyways, we were let inside the venue without anyone checking IDs. Which was strange but okay. After a while, the entire choir was complete and I felt as if I had known these people for ages already. Everyone was so lovely and crazy and we were really determined to be the best we could possibly be.
After waiting for aaaageesss, the band finally arrived and Tim led us to the dressing room where we would rehearse. Everybody just sat down, chilled a bit and we all sang together. Other band members came and sang with us and it was all very cool. At a sudden point Mika appeared, but nobody seemed to be bothered by it. We were in the flow, yo. They said we were a good choir, and Tim shouted Dutch Power! We all agreed of course, but then Mika told Tim off because he can't even pronounce his own Dutch last name. Which was quite funny. We kept practising some more and I would have been fine with it if we had done that for hours. It was so intimate and relaxed and we sounded very good together.
The band left for soundcheck and we practised some more. We helped each other with lyrics and harmonies and vowed to make it the best show evah. It wasn't long before we were called up for soundcheck. Funny thing was, when they put us behind the microphone, the technician guy looked at me and said: "haven't we met before?" I coughed and mumbled Possibly.
We had to stand really close to the microphone, so my mic partner and I pretended to kiss each other as we were that close. We rehearsed some dance moves and Popular and then were kicked off again. Tim came back later to rehearse some of the other songs, but we were short on time so after that, we had a short break and we got something to eat.
It then turned into one big make up party as we all prepared for the show. We were told we could watch the first few songs from the back and so we did. We were dancing and singing along and people were looking at us. It was hilarious. When Lola started, we ran back, put our robes on and prepared to go on stage. The moment the last notes of Rain died away were the most nerve-wrecking. It all disappeared the moment we got on stage...

The gig

Basically, we went for it. About a 200%. We danced and sang our lungs out. We had to get off stage sometimes, and get back on again. We were on stage for the last half of the show. Of course I had my little fail moment, when during the band introduction, I didn't see Mika motioning us to sit down. So I kept standing. Then got pulled down and fell. And everyone fell with me like we were playing domino. It was pretty fucking hilarious. I should learn to pay more attention next time, hehe.
It was great to see the audience smiling and dancing and responding to us. It's weird when strangers are trying to touch you. But fun! When we got off stage we were sweating like maniacs, but we were in such a state of bliss and euphoria. I think that all of us could have gone for another hour without a problem. It was fucking amazing.

After the show

We walked down the stairs and got a thumbs up from Mika once we were downstairs. Tim came over to high five us all. It was a great show and a great start of the European tour. We were all jumping around and smiling and saying how awesome we were. We decided to take a group picture in our robes (in front of the toilet). Mrs. Penniman was so kind to take it for us. Then we started being excited again when Mika appeared with a bottle of Moet&Chandon. He wanted to toast on us and was sad that there only was one bottle. He then showed off his skills as a previous waiter, but apparently you can't hire him for parties. Damn it. So, we downed the champagne (which was not a good idea for me because I don't usually drink alcohol) and we just chatted a bit about the show, about creepy gifts from people, stoned audience members and what not. Then it was picture time. We first took group pictures, and then we took pictures in smaller groups. When one of the guys suggested to look 'tough' I said they should do a sexy face. Mika totally failed at his because he started laughing and couldn't do it.
He then said he wished our paths would cross again and hoped we would sing together again someday. Which should totally happen. We should start a popgroup. Mika & The Mikettes. Or whatever. I see a bright future ahead!
Mika then left and we started to clean the dressing room because we're awesome like that. The band came over to take a picture and it turned out great. We packed up our stuff, promised to stay in touch and then left the venue *sad face*.

I haven't had this much fun in ages. We were constantly laughing, having fun, singing and dancing. I was so sad when it was over because I had the best fucking time ever. We weren't treated as fans at all, but it really felt like we belonged there. I wish we could do this every day. Damn it. I miss everyone already!

So Mika, next gig in Amsterdam, call us maybe?

Friday, 12 October 2012

Why someone should slap PETA in the face. With a table.

Dear PETA,

You're doing it wrong. Totally wrong. And not the guilty pleasure Village People kinda wrong. And I know what you're trying to do. I get your whole animal liberation thing. Or wait, actually I don't. But we'll get to that in a bit.
Don't get me wrong PETA, I love animals. In my spare time, I hug rattlesnakes and run with deer in the forest, channeling my inner Pocahontas. Animals are great. They are fluffy and cute and majestic and amazing and dangerous and what not. And it's terrible that animals are being tortured and used for experiments and shit. If anyone would hurt my dog, they would meet my fist in their face. However, there is such a thing as a line. PETA, you cross that line. No, you don't cross it. You jump over that line, pull down your pants and show your Ah-ha's to innocent bystanders. And why? Because all animals have to roam free like this is fucking My Little Pony Land. Nothing wrong with that sentiment, but you are trying to persuade the neutral people in a way that makes them run away from you. Screaming. In circles.

First off, PETA, you say that animals should not be used for consumption. We shouldn't eat animals. They are not ours to eat! I respect anyone who is a vegetarian for whatever reason. Just the reasoning that we are not allowed to eat animals is a bit weird. Why you ask? Well, if humans are told off for eating animals, we should totally tell that nasty ass lion to keep his claws off of that lovely zebra. Or even our own domesticated cats. How does Felix dare to catch that mouse? Thing is, PETA, if humans hadn't eaten any animals back in the day when there was no such thing as paint to throw at people you don't agree with, then there wouldn't have been humans at all. And that would suck right? Who is going to tell all those carnivores off for eating other living species when there are no people around? I agree with you that the food industry is a bit extreme nowadays and that it's totally uncool how some animals are treated by some people. But that doesn't mean that we should all stop eating meat and run around in our Adam and Eve costumes. There's a middle way, trust me.

PETA, when I watch videos of the IFAW, my heart breaks into a million pieces. They make me want to go out there and prevent people from stepping on kittens. You, however, decide to use criminal acts to make people listen to you. Basically, you are just a terrorist organisation. You don't really care about animals. In fact, you even killed thousands of animals in your care. Is that your idea of liberation? I certainly hope not. Apparently, some guy named Bruce, who happens to be in your organisation, allegedly said: “blowing stuff up and smashing windows is a great way to bring about animal liberation.” I don't really see how? It just sounds like a kid who seeks attention and what better way to blow shit up in the name of all those helpless animals! When someone tries to intimidate me, I won't listen. When someone sets my house on fire, it won't make me believe that I was wrong all along and was just too blind to see. It just makes me want to drag your ass to court. When someone throws paint at me, I won't like them. Paint is for painting. Just go draw a picture of an animal in need.

The reason why I am writing this now, PETA, is because recently you have launched a campaign against animal abusers with the use of the animation series Pokemon. According to you, Pokemon teaches kids to use animals in combat and abuse them when they're not obedient. What kind of fuckery is that? I was 7 when Pokemon was released. I was a very active Pokemon fan. I played all the games, collected the cards, etc. etc. Basically, according to your ideas, I was an animal abuser in the making. Well, PETA, I learned several things from Pokemon. I learned English, which is very convenient. I learned about friendship and so much more. It never crossed my minds to use real animals for battling. I have never met anyone who thought you can use animals for battling because Pokemon taught them that. For fuck's sake PETA, it's a cartoon series. There is so much violence in cartoons these days, yet that doesn't turn children into mass murderers. After all, it's you who murders thousands of healthy cats and dogs, not the people who play Pokemon.

PETA, it's a bit short-sighted to believe in the liberation of all animals. If we would all liberate our pets, they would be dead in 2 days. Besides, my dog doesn't even want to be liberate. Nobody pets you when you're liberated as a dog. Nobody feeds you. That's pretty shit.

PETA, I suggest that if you actually want people to listen to you, you should drop this radical approach of yours. You don't give a flying fuck about your so-called cause. You're just an attention whore who doesn't get laid enough. No, PETA, smashing things and burning things down is not justified when you have a 'reason' for it. You devalue the lives of other humans, in favour of the lives of animals, apart from your own lives. Yours lives are pretty valuable.

Once again, PETA, I agree with you that there should be changes. Animals should be treated better. But if you had any intelligence, you would see that your way, is not the way to do it.


Friday, 5 October 2012

What horror films taught me

I want to come clean. I strongly dislike watching horror films. I don't really get that whole idea of a limb here, a fountain of blood there or some creepy ass ghost haunting bitches at night. It's not my thang yo. A few years ago, when I was still at secondary school, some of my classmates had convinced my German teacher that we should totally watch this film called Saw. For educational purposes of course. Now, I managed to watch 5 minutes of it. That was quite an accomplishment, considering the fact that next thing I knew, I was about to throw up, which resulted in my classmates having to watch The Prince and Me in German. You're welcome kids.

Despite the fact that horror films are not my thing, I have managed to watch some (parts) of horror films that I found very fascinating. The most fascinating thing about horror films is that they are mostly very similar to each other. It usually involves a group of young people who decide it's the best idea to drive into some random deserted place. Naturally, there is no way to get in touch with the rest of the world and oh fuck, flat tyre!
Now, if I happen to be stuck somewhere with a flat tyre, the last thing I would do is go in some creepy looking shed, hoping someone would help me. And even if I would, I would get the fuck out of there if nobody was answering. I am not going to sleep in the shed or house. I understand, it's difficult to call road services with no signal, but I'd rather walk the way back then stay in some haunted mansion. Yet, would destiny force me to stay in that house and if I'd be with a group of friends, I would definitely not be like "Oh hey guys, there's some wicked shit going on here. You know what we should do? Split up!" It always happens in horror films. The idiots split up. And as we all know, shit goes down once they split up. Bitches get murdered. Now, if you belong to any of these groups, you are most likely not going to survive a horror scenario.

1. The slut: She/He is usually the first to be murdered by some axe-swinging bastard. Preferably whilst having sex. But let's be honest, who the hell is even thinking about having sex when they are in some abandoned shithole you have just trespassed for whatever reason. It's as if these psychopaths smell the body juices, the moment sluts are tongue-tied together. So, kids, be smart, don't have sex when you're in a situation like this. It might save your ass.

2. The gothic: If you're all different and drawn to the dark side because of the cookies, you might end up pretty dead by the end of the ride. You will manage to last for a while, just because you understand the dark forces and can tell all your non-dead friends about what the devil is going on. Still, you're dead meat. Sorry.

3. The stoner: Pretty much speaks for itself. If you're too high to function, you're too high to save your ass. Gosh, I hope Amsterdam will never be attacked by zombies.

4. The Hippie: The nicest person. In such circumstances it's irritating when you're nice. And so you die.

5. The Funny guy: Making jokes about a serial killer is not done. It's a serious job, you know and someone's got to do it. Oh...behind you...

6. The Smart Kid: If you wear glasses and a bow-tie, and have more intelligence than the majority of your group of friends, you're screwed. It doesn't matter if you're smart enough to find a solution to this killing problem. The knife is always faster.

7. The Angry kid: Look, we're in enough trouble as it is already, no need to be an asshole about it okay? When you keep shouting like that you will....aaaand his head is gone.

8. Every minority: It's unfair, I know. But if you're not the handsome male white hero, or the clever but good-looking gal, you are doomed. It's nothing personal. It doesn't matter if you're black or white or Asian, gay or straight. If you're not Channing Tatum, you're fucked.

So, if I'd ever be in this situation with any one of you, this is what we'll do. You go into that house which has the reputation for being haunted, and I will run away and get my ass out of there and call the cops and hope you will return safely. And preferably unpossessed by some demon. And with all your limbs. I will include some unnecessary loud screaming as well. And I will run in circles. It's nothing personal. I suggest you try to get your ass out of that situation too.

Ps. if you want to see a funny and awesome spoof on horror films of the 60s and 70s, watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show. You shall not be disappointed!

Monday, 17 September 2012

Inspiring shit: Neil Gaiman

It's been a while, but I think it's time for another installment of Inspiring Shit. Which doesn't mean it's shit. That would be weird if it is also inspiring. I should just stop talking nonsense right? Right.

Today's inspiring shit is about Neil Gaiman. He is an author. He writes weird and awesome stuff about Gods and falling through the cracks. Basically, he is a fantasy writer who creates worlds far different from our own, in a humourous and scary way.

Even if you're not the fantasy/sci-fi kinda guy (or gal), you might find that you actually enjoy his work. He is one of those rare authors who can switch from brilliant jokes to the most gruesome scenes and back again, without it seeming forced or strange in any way. He has a way with words which has impressed me, and naturally his stories are very appealing and imaginative.

As a student teacher, I have always found it hard to find literature that appealed to pupils. Kids who are 12/13 years old are a very hard audience to please. Whenever I used works from Neil Gaiman, I discovered that the children actually thorougly enjoy them. Especially Coraline is a very popular story for their age category. It sparks their imagination, is a haunting tale with a strong female lead character.

I guess most people are appealed to dark stories in a way. It enables us to explore the corners of our mind we usually shy away from. Neil Gaiman introduces us to them. I was very much afraid of death before, but reading a novel like the Graveyard Book, where death is presented as something that goes hand in hand with life in a funny and witty way, that fear is fading.

My favourite novel of his is Neverwhere. It was the first book I bought written by him and while I was reading it at the airport, I lost every track of time and nearly missed my flight. I won't go into plot details, you can read them here if you like: click me

If you're a comic book lover, you might probably know the Sandman series. I have always wanted to read it, but haven't got round to it yet. I was, however, very much inspired by this poem:

“All around me darkness gathers,
Fading is the sun that shone,
We must speak of other matters,
You can be me when I'm gone

Flowers gathered in the morning,
Afternoon they blossom on,
Still are withered in the evening,
You can be me when I'm gone.”

I like the deep and dark poems like this. They make you think. And as Neil Gaiman is a clever guy who has a lot to say, there are some other quotes I'd like to share;

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 
This quote is also from the Sandman series. It appeals a lot to me because I am in a way afraid of love as well. It's difficult for me to let myself go and open up completely. Ah love, such a peculiar thing.

"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly." 
This is probably my favourite. It has inspired me to dream and to not be afraid of making mistakes anymore. Yes, things might go wrong, but maybe, just maybe if you dream enough, everything can change in a good way.

I am drifting off again. I will conclude this post by saying you should run to your local book store tomorrow and pick up some of his novels. For starters, I'd advice Neverwhere, American Gods and The Graveyard Book. If you're a fan of short stories, get Fragile Things or Smoke & Mirrors. And most of all, just enjoy the stories, and if these stories are not to your liking, enjoy other stories. Isn't that what we all need in life anyway, to fill our hearts with dreams and desires and magical places? Life would not be worth living if we wouldn't have any stories to tell...

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Seeing the same artist over and over? Shocking!

I get to hear these questions a lot: Why do you always go to gigs of the same artist? Isn't that boring? Are you obsessed or something? I used to feel the need to defend myself. These people were waiting for an explanation. To them it seemed oh so strange that someone would spend money on actually travelling to a show of their favourite artist in whatever corner of the world and shock horror, doing that multiple times? Weird. But is it weird though? I don't think so. For many people, like myself, music is a saviour. It inspires. It makes you happy. And it doesn't matter which artist you like. Sometimes music or an artist changes you in a positive way. And what's better than to actually go see a show of that artist to show your support and sing along to the songs you fucking love with like-minded people? Besides, no 2 gigs are ever the same. Different things happen. And those small differences are always the most memorable ones. So no, it is never boring. Another thing those people can't seem to grasp is that you do not have to be obsessed in order to go to multiple gigs. Yes, there are always obsessed fans who collect everything, dedicate their whole life to a certain artist and basically spend all their money on a popstar. They will do everything to get close to the artist and sometimes, things get ugly. These are the kind of fans who will break down in tears of their popstar is dating someone, because that means they don't have a chance, or fight with fans of other artists when negative things have been said about their darling. I do not see myself as such a fan. I don't collect anything, I buy the albums and go to the shows. That's about it. I like to communicate with my friends whom I met through the artist, but I am not dedicating my twitter and facebook profile to my favourite artists. I like to keep my own identity. I won't do anything extreme to get near an artist. If I get to meet them, that's cool, but I wouldn't go to their hotels, to the airport or wherever they may be in town just to see them. So whenever people call me obsessive, I just laugh it off because they have no clue about what obsession is at all.

The point is, it is my decision to see those shows in whatever country I like. It is my money after all, and well, I think I am allowed to spend it without having to justify my decisions? Some people like to hang out in the same bar every single weekend, drinking all their hard-earned euros away and forgetting all about what happened the next day. I'd rather take that money, go see a show with my friends and keep the memories.
So, do I regret going to the same show over and over? No. It's a part of me. It are moments where I can be completely free and forget about all worries. It's what makes me happy. So no matter what people say, if you want to see the same artist a million times, don't let anyone stop you. Just do whatever makes you happy.

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Piano music

I am a sucker for piano music. It's probably the only instrument that can bring me to tears when it produces a beautiful melody. There is one artist I like in particular. His name is Yiruma. And because I am a sharing kind of person, I will share some of his most beautiful melodies with you.

That's all for today!

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

L'oreal Studio Line Sessions

Hey kids! It's been a while since I've done one of those blogs and well, while I'm at it, I might as well tell you all about the happy events of yesterday.

As you may or may not have known, but I mentioned it quite often on Twitter so you didn't know, then shame on you, it was the L'oreal Studioline Sessions gig with our favourite popstar, Mika! I don't know why I just said our. That only makes it seem like I have multiple personalities. Aaaanyways...
After weeks of not knowing if we could go because of ticket issues, ya know, we got the green light. Yay! Otherwise I would've just went there anyway to see if I could get in, but hey, certaintly is always so much better for the heart. So, the remaining weeks, Niko and I planned everything from outfit to make up and were just being excited little fangirls until the day finally arrived.
At 11.30 Niko arrived from Far Far Awayland, drank all the iced tea and fucked up my make up. After a few attempts it looked okay and he continued to curl my hair and spray a fuck load of hair spray in it. It worked though, for the first time in my life, my curls did not magically disappear within 5 minutes. Because we had nothing better to do, at 1.30, we left for Amsterdam in the bubbles mobile!
Amsterdam welcomed us quite early. It took a while for us to find the venue, but when we did, I was fucking glad they had a cafe next to it. We basically spent our whole day sitting there. I freed a wasp who couldn't miss me and returned again, had nacho's and drinks and chatted about everything. It would have been fine with me if we could've just stayed there forever, but Niko wanted to queue and as we had been there for ages, we might as well go to the front then.
The fact that it was guest list worried me somewhat, because how were they going to organise the drama? Luckily, it went okay, we got in, we got to the front and all was well. He was half an hour late, but hey, what's new?

The gig was good, he sang quite a few new songs and the moments he had his eyes open were magic. During the uptempo songs, he really gave it his all, while during the slower songs, he mostly had his eyes closed. But hey, that's fine. The audience did talk through the songs they didn't know, which was slightly annoying as it brought back memories of the Q-music showcase. It was fun though, he was really close and way too short.

After the gig I caught up with some people I know and haven't seen in ages, before heading outside the see if we could meet him. We got a goodiebag, which was the main reason why I was there and we walked around the building to where the trucks were.
It did not take long for him to come out. His mother came out first and was lovely as always. This meeting went quite well. We were asked to form a line and people mostly obeyed. He was in a good mood but in a hurry. When he came to us, he first spoke to the others, commented how great Niko looks and then he asked me how I was as usual. I replied after which he said: "It's always good to see you again." My heart melted. We joked around a bit with the buddha I gave him (to wish him good luck for the album, because I am a thoughtful person) and he said that it wasn't TOO scary and I was acting very hurt and turned my back on him once again. We made up though, because that's how we roll.

After we were done, we walked to the car, dropped Nielo and Linde off at Central Station. Then, Niko and I drove off to the horizon. The end.

Btw, here are pics of the most important part of the evening, The goodiebag:

It included a promo cd of Celebrate (which I first thought was just a lame copy, but it is actually official and not for sale!) and some random bottle of L'oreal stuff to make your hair matt and wild. Who doesn't want wild hair after all?

The only video I took:

Mika - Step with me @ L'oreal Studio sessions 3-09-2012 from Ingrid Chant on Vimeo.

That's all folks.

Sunday, 19 August 2012

I miss you..

Wake me up
When the night is young
and the sun is dead
All we had begun
All we'd never said
When love is a crime
And we are the judge
Kill the lovers in their prime
Hold the feelings we begrudge

Wake me up
When I am no longer here
When everything around me
Withers and disappears
And the light I see
Flickers and fades
Hide your face
Join the masquerade

Love is the brick
That sinks my hope
Nothing but a trick
An endless rope
Yet love is the reason
Why I'm still breathing
And with every season
I miss you more


Thursday, 16 August 2012

Wise words


3 weeks ago...

I was in London, chilling with my friends and having an awesome time at Mika's gig. Someone teleport me back please.

Sunday, 12 August 2012

The challenges of being short

Okay, I can hear you thinking; Short? Ingrid is not that short? Average, maybe, but short, nah. I would agree with you if I lived in any other country than I do. Apparently, people in the Netherlands decided to feed their children fertilizers, and my parents did not get that memo. At elementary school, I was still able to boast with the fact that I was one of the tallest girls in class. As puberty kicked in, most of my classmates shot up into the air like rockets. I was left with the very same height which once brought me glory. It was now....*dramatic music* my burden.

Now, it might be difficult to understand how being 5"5' would be any problem in a country filled with walking towers. I do have some examples of harrowing moments in the life of an average/short person.

For example, that one time during my driving lesson, when my driving instructor told me to get into a parking garage. Seems to be easy enough. The only issue was that I had to take a ticket out of a machine. I tried just by reaching out. It did not work. I tried by getting closer to the window. Still no success. It wasn't until I was literally hanging out of the car that I was able to grab the ticket. My instructor said he wished he had a camera. If only I were a little taller, I would have been able to grab that damned ticket and not look like a failed escape artist in America's funniest home videos. Argh the trauma!

Supermarkets are also not convenient for short people such as myself. Whenever you need something, it's always on the top shelf. And to reach the top shelf is like having to climb the Mount Everest. Literally. The past week it has often happened that old ladies asked me to grab something from the top shelf. Because I was so much taller than they were. Basically, we were the same height, but hey, I won't be the one to crush their dreams. So, without any security, I set out to climb the mountain of frozen foods in order to grab a box of frozen spinach for the lady. Like Spiderwoman, I climbed and climbed and reached out into oblivion, as the last box of spinach laughed at me from the ends of the world, erm...freezer. I finally was able to grab the box and frozen solid, but victorious, I returned. The woman thanked me and word spread, as a few days later, I was requested to embark on the very same journey, yet this time, in the wine department.

I could bore you with many more examples, however, being short has it's advantages. I, for example, am an expert at maneuvering through crowded areas. Like a cat almost. I am a pro at this. It is ideal when you have to get into a crowded train and you can just swiftly creep right in between until you can go in. If anyone still blocks your view, you just use puppy eyes, because being tiny = cute. Works all the time.
Apart from that, I barely bump my head when a wild low-hanging chandelier appears. And in case I want to disappear into the crowd, it's so much easier to just stand behind someone else and it's just as if you've never been there at all!

I guess, apart from some inconveniences, being short is not that bad at all. Unless people think I am a 15 year old because I am short. Moments like that are quite annoying. But at least I don't have to fold my legs in difficult positions in those small air plane seats. And hey, at least 50 cent, the ultimate lover of all shawties, wants to party like it's my birthday all the time, plus if he's annoying, I am in the perfect position to headbutt him in his holy area. Bring on the champagne! Call Napoleon! Short people rule!

Friday, 3 August 2012

The Origin of Love

I have never done this before. Mainly because I don't consider my work to be good enough. Yeah I've posted stories, but those were mainly just fun. Today I want to share something with you. Something I worked so very hard on. It was inspired by Mika, of course, and his new album, the Origin of Love. I started writing this just after Underwater was first played live and we only knew a handful of new song titles. I just felt inspired to write this story, as it got stuck in my head ever since. I printed 2 copies of this, one for me and one to give to Mika. Even though I hesitated for a long time, especially because the printed copies contained a lot of mistakes, I gave it to him in the end. And even though I was slightly objecting, saying it was still full of mistakes, he was very supportive and that was kind of the trigger for me to go on. I picked up writing again this week, after not having done so for a while, because at the moment I have to go through quite some shit in my life. Which is fine though. It only makes you stronger, I guess.

So, without any further ado, I'd like to present you this link so you can download The Origin of Love - The Story. Now, it's not perfect yet (oh god here I go again) but in a way, I am proud of it and I want to share it. And I hope you enjoy it too and if you can, share it as well. It is my dream to become better at what I do, one tiny step at a time. And one day, I want to be able to write even more beautiful stories, and share them with the world and maybe inspire others to do what they want to do, just like I was inspired.

A little bit more about the story, it's basically a collection of letters from a man to his long lost lover. The letters tell the story. Pretty simple isn't it? <- Click that link to download it.

I did not finish this project on my own. First off, the wonderful heart on the cover of the book was drawn by Ana Aragon.This is the second time she helped me out and I am still very grateful that she is willing to let me use her talents. It must have been strange for her when I emailed her saying: "I want a flying heart and I want you to stab a knife right through it!" That's some fucked up shit right there. I edited it some more et voila, the cover:

Apart from that, my dear friends; Maxim, Robin, Anneleen and her boyfriend Marco also helped out. Maxim and Robin were my models, portraying Death and Life. I think Maxim is still not over the fact that I so violently painted his face with a wet sponge. I apologise once again! Marco made this bad-ass realistic looking wound on Maxim's neck just to add a little more drama to it all and Anneleen was a brilliant photographer who managed to capture my vision, even without me being able to properly explain it.

If you want to see the making of, well check it out below:

Photoshoot Behind the Scenes from Ingrid Chant on Vimeo.

Here are some outtakes:

 Right, so this became a long ass post, even though that was not the intention. I just wanted to say that, yeah, I know I am not the best writer in the world yet, but I am improving, or so I think. And I hope that you will enjoy this story, because I believe that it does have an important message that needs to be told.
I am also glad that I found the inspiration and courage to finish this and make it happen, because if nobody ever believes in you, it's hard to keep fighting for what you believe in yourself. So thank you. Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way. To every kind word. To every person who allowed me to be my crazy self and not run away crying. You are the reason why I won't give up. It doesn't matter if my dreams will become reality one day, or if I will always be writing just for me. At least I'll be doing what I love and that's basically all I need to do to survive.

I would love it if you'd comment on the story and share it if you liked it. You can either send me a message on Twitter: @IngievV or email me here

And because this is such a long ass post, here's the download link again: Download the Origin of Love - Story

Until next time!

Ingrid x

Wednesday, 1 August 2012


I'm sitting on my bed right now, still recovering from the best days I've ever experienced in my whole life. I look back at those moments and my heart still fills itself with glee. And perhaps because I spend my days listening to the beautiful new love songs by Mika, whom I greatly admire, that I stopped and thought about love as well.

Love is a beautiful thing. It's the reason we breathe. It gives purpose to our existence. I'd rather die than not love and be loved. What's left to live for if we only live for ourselves? If we only live to make money? Money is not going to embrace you when you're feeling down and hugging yourself is just not quite the same thing. I enjoy love. I enjoy being in love. That strange feeling in your stomach, it just makes me happy.

Yet Love can be like poison. It can eat you up from the inside, destroy you if you are not careful. Love can bring you regret and fear and can cause jealousy and frustration. I remember at the age of 13 I was madly in love with a guy and my infatuation lasted for 3 years. When I finally sent him an email saying I liked him, he ignored me. And I feel like I was the main subject of many jokes. That broke me. It took quite a while for me to start trusting men (boys) again and I still feel like I'm not completely opened up yet.

Love can also be a cause for hatred. I live in a country proud of its tolerance, yet in reality there is still a lot of hate polluting the air. What if you love someone so deeply and are so desperate to be with that person, but society discourages your love? What if you happen to fall in love with the same gender? I am still convinced of the fact that everybody should be able to love whoever they want. In the end, it all doesn't really matter. In the end we do not fall in love with a certain gender. We fall in love with a person. As time passes, you are not just looking at the thing between your partner's legs, but you're dealing with their personality, the good things and the bad things. When having sex it does make a difference, but apart from that, love is so much more than gender. It is not designed just for man + woman = baby. It's that feeling that makes you smile and giggle without an explanation. It's the drug that temporarily makes you lose your mind and puts your head in the clouds.
Love is for everyone. Everyone should be loved and should be able to love freely and passionately. Some of my closest friends are gay and I wish for them to be able to walk down the street holding hands with the one they love, without people judging them. Without them having to feel uncomfortable or guilty. Without them being harrassed. In the end, love is love.

I just wanted to share these deep thoughts with you, as I don't do that very often. Sometimes the Plato in me has to get out and deliver an awesome speech that will change the world. Or so I believe.

Maybe one day we will wake up in a world where it doesn't matter who you are or what you do and who you love. Maybe one day, instead of seeing our differences, we can see our similarities.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

The Invention of Love

While browsing Youtube, I came across this animated short film. I thought it was gorgeous, beautifully done and very inspiring, so I wanted to share with you..

Make good art!