Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Awkward Train Conversations

Hello my darlings!

Today I would like to enlighten you with a post about a hobby of mine; eavesdropping conversations on trains. I justify this by saying I like to observe and analyse people to use in stories I write, but in reality I just enjoy listening to people's conversations because it appears as though people think trains are private enough to discuss your entire life. Preferably whatever crazy things happened last weekend.

My all-time favourite conversation was one of a girl who told her friend all about this new guy she met. Because she was obviously very pretty and amazing and he was basically an ordinary human being who should have been happy to even be allowed in her presence. I pretended to be very interested in my book as they spoke. We shall call one chick Shirley and her friend Betty. Why? Because I can.

Shirley: "So like, I went to Mark's house last week."
Betty: "Omg really? What was it like?"
Shirley: "Well, he still lives with his parents."
Betty: "Ew"
Shirley: "But you know what?"
Betty: "What?"
Shirley: "They had a lift."
Betty: "Shut up! In their house?"
Shirley: "Yeah! I know right! So like we went to his room using the lift and he had like this really big room with his own home cinema."
Betty: "Omg, that is so cool!"
Shirley: "Yeah and then we like, just sat on his bed and he told me he loved me. And I was like, yeah but I'm not really sure."
Betty: "But he has a lift! And a home cinema!"
Shirley: "I know right, but he is like totally annoying. Anyways, so I was playing a hockey match a week later and suddenly he turned up."
Betty: "No way!"
Shirley: "Yes way! And I was like, listen Mark, I like, can't be with you okay."
Betty: "What did he say?"
Shirley: "He started crying. Saying he loved me."
Betty: "Ugh, why does that ALWAYS happen to you?"
Shirley: "I know. Anyways, we're done now."

I'm sorry but I would think someone was instantly cooler if they had a lift in their house. But that is just me. I would just go up and down the lift all day until someone kicked me out.

A more recent conversation happened between two girls who were about 15/16 years old. I instantly recognised them as One Direction fans. Not because I have a sixth sense for identifying 1D fans, but because one of them carried a giant Harry Styles cutout around. Kinda gave it away. Anyways, these girls gave some great insight in what it is like to be a teenager in these tough times. We shall call these girls La'toya and La'teesha.

La'toya: "I can't believe she hasn't done anything with him yet."
La'teesha: "I know, I mean, come on, he likes her, she likes him. Just you know, do it already."
La'toya: "That's what I told her, okay, I told her, girl you are 16. It's about time you have sex, ok?"
La'teesha: "Yeah, omg, I can't believe her."
La'toya: "He is an asshole though. Did you know what he said about One Direction?"
La'teesha: "No? What?"
La'toya: "He said they were gay. And I was like, they are so not gay and he said well how do you know and I said, uh because I know EVERYTHING about one direction."
La'teesha: "Omg"
La'toya: "I know, and then I said, even if they are gay, they are still about a million times cooler than you are!"
La'teesha: "You tell 'em!"

The rest of the conversation was not really that interesting (well it was entertaining but I am too lazy to type it all out).

I do have the best advice ever if you want to find out if people are the kind who eavesdrop on conversations. Preferably sit in one of those trains which have lots of open spaces. Wait until you hear some conversations going or people being pre-occupied with their phones. Engage in a conversation with whoever is with you (if you say this to yourself it is just awkward), then drop the word "virginity" somewhere in your conversation. Watch how everybody becomes silent, nobody turns pages of books anymore, you see people looking at you and quickly look away when you look back. I tried it. It works. It is especially funny when someone was about to eat something and then nearly chokes.

Anyways, that was it for today. I hope that I will be able to entertain you again soon with another blogpost. Until then,


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.